


We're not going to be friends

by ayellowcurtain



Category: SKAM (Italy)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Light Angst, M/M, Missing Scene, Sort Of, about Season 4!, with a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:01:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24276295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayellowcurtain/pseuds/ayellowcurtain
Summary: What (maybe) happened in between the days of the Hide and Seek clip and Nico's clip during Season 4
Relationships: Niccolò Fares/Martino Rametta
Comments: 4
Kudos: 86





	We're not going to be friends

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, you!!   
> So this is just a little extra warning for the ones that haven't watched season 4 yet: this is all about some events that we discover during season 4, so there might be a whole lot of spoilers if you haven't watched the entire season yet.   
> If you did or if you don't mind spoilers, enjoy!!!

* * *

It’s not their anniversary, not Nico nor Marti’s birthday, but it feels like a big day. Marti is finally coming home. Nico could barely function all day long, counting down the hours. He didn’t have an exact time to look forward to, so Nico was constantly waiting.

They still need to properly talk, to tell each other about what happened in the last couple of weeks, but as long as Martino is home, anything will feel a lot easier to do. 

Martino has the keys, or at least he had them when he left, but he knocks on the door when he gets there and he waits for Nico to open the door for him.

Nico wants to ask why he didn’t use his keys, but he doesn’t. He just holds the door open and lets Marti walk inside, their eyes only meeting for a second, and Marti is tense, shoulders up, closing around his chest.

His face is still bruised, but it’s a lot better than the last time Nico saw him this close. It’s still so hard for Nico to acknowledge that the fight was real, that the whole night really happened. Everything was fine, perfect even for one moment and then everything after that became messy for weeks, but nothing changed about his feelings for Martino.

“Hm, I brought some gnocchi al ragú for you...I made at Filo’s for a goodbye dinner and...yeah, brought some for you.” Marti opens his backpack and struggles but takes a little container off and offers it to Nico. “It’s still warm, you should eat…”

Nico smiles, holding the warm glass with both his hands, looking at Martino. “Thank you. You didn’t need to worry about me, I ordered pizza, it should be here soon.” He wiggles his head and smiles, hoping that lightens the mood a little, but Martino gives him a sad smile in return and Nico nods his head, aware that things won’t be as easy as he would like.

They stand there awkwardly for a moment, stealing glances at each other when the other is not looking and Marti is the one to break the silence again, pointing to their bedroom.

“I’m gonna...put my things there.”

Nico nods his head, biting the inside of his cheek. “Okay…”

Marti walks to the bedroom and Nico goes to the kitchen and then to their living room, sitting on the couch and eating Marti’s delicious food, waiting for him to come back to keep him company.

There’s this anticipation that lingers around them and Nico wants nothing more than to be done with it. They’re back together, supposedly, but there’s a lot they need to talk about, that Martino wants to say and to make clear.

He finally comes back, walking in front of Nico and going to sit at the opposite end of the couch, as far away from Nico as it’s possible. It’s not too much, one empty seat in between them, but it bothers Nico. He turns his body a little so he’s able to see Marti and he waits.

Martino is looking down, clearly trying to think on what he wants to say exactly and Nico takes that time to really take Marti in. His stubble, the dark circles around his eyes, him fidgeting with his hands. Marti looks skinnier too and Nico wishes he had taken care of himself, he feels guilty for how upset Martino still looks.

“I won’t be able to be friends with him, you know. Luai.” Martino confesses, finally looking at Nico to see what he thinks of that.

Nico stops eating, quietly putting everything on their coffee table. “I figured. It’s okay.”

“Yeah...” Martino nods his head, looking down again as he exhales, clearly a little more at peace with himself for putting that part out.

Nico shrugs when Martino looks at him in search of something more he might say, there’s not much he can do. If Martino can’t separate his feelings from his rational part, he can’t and that’s okay.

“As long as you two don’t go punching each other every time you see each other, yeah.”

They go quiet again and Nico looks up through his lashes, hating how it feels like Marti is still holding back some tears. Niccolò never thought Marti would react so strongly about this. He thought they were safe, that keeping those pieces of information to himself wouldn’t be as harmful as it clearly was.

"You and Luai are not the same, Marti. You're not a backup plan." Nico tries, measuring his words and keeping his eyes on Marti, trying to make him understand how much he means his words. "I just couldn't bear the thought that I could have ruined a part of his life, that I had caused him any pain. I don't love him. I never did, not in the way that I love you and that you love me. I liked him and that night at the club I was just feeling guilty, but also relief that he was ok."

Nico can see, but he can almost hear how Marti swallows the lump on his throat. His eyelashes are a little wet and sticking together, but he cleans his eyes with the back of his hands before he can let himself cry.

Seeing Martino in pain makes Nico feel so much remorse. He needed weeks to wrap his mind around the past two years of his life, he needed time and he can't believe this caused Martino this much pain.

"You needed time to find closure with your past, with Luai. To mourn the "what ifs". And I needed time to mourn the loss of the romanticized version of you that I created in my head. The idea that I was your first like you'd been mine. I never liked Gio the way I liked you at the start, I never kissed a boy before and saw that turn into something good before you. And I thought you had the same experience and I wanted that. I wanted it so fucking bad and so I needed time to digest that it wasn't the reality."

It feels like a punch to his stomach. Nico regrets even eating Marti’s amazing gnocchis because he feels suddenly nauseous. The thought that somewhere inside Martino’s brain, his idea of Niccolò has changed drastically leaves him unsettled. Marti can probably tell because he starts talking again.

“I’m not angry at you anymore. I’m just disappointed at myself, I think. For creating this idea in my head that I was your one and only love. I was caught by surprise by the reality, that’s all. I accepted all of this during these last few weeks.”

“Marti...you _are._ ” Nico tries to explain, not sure if his mid-sentence is enough, he sits closer and Marti shakes his head, wetting his lips with the tip of his tongue, he’s getting red around his lips, a clear sign when he’s about to cry.

“No, Ni. I’m not fishing for compliments or for reassurance. I’m really not. I'm just being honest, you wanted me to talk and so I'm talking.”

Nico looks down, trying to calm himself, explain himself a little more. Their knees are gently touching each other. Marti’s hands on his thighs and Nico’s are exactly like that too, so he reaches out quietly, holding one of Martino’s hand, running his thumb through the back of Marti’s hand, feeling how warm and soft it feels.

“I love you, Martino. So much. If I could go back in time, I would change a few things, yeah, but not too much because I _had_ to meet you. No matter what, I had to meet you and to make you notice me and fall in love with me.”

Nico tries to bend the limits a little more, sitting as close as they can be, touching Marti’s cheek, kissing his temple, feeling how Marti sighs loudly, slowly emptying his lungs completely, relaxing his shoulders.

“Nothing, nobody would change us being here, together. I’m gonna fight for you, for us, always.”


End file.
